Some fortunes for Chinese New Year.

Photo by tim ellis.

Are you, like me, disgusted with the increasing blandness of fortune cookie fortunes? Remember the good old days when you used to see fortunes like this?

1. I saw what you did. Pervert.

2. WARNING: Toxic lubricant leak detected in fortune cookie machine. Recalibrate according to section 6 of the Manual.

3. You don't know me, but we were meant to be together. Meet me behind the moo goo gai pan.